Mentoring
Part III: Being a Good Student
By Amanda Kelly
Originally published in Dogs In Review magazine (U.S.A.) in 2005. All rights reserved. This text may not be reproduced without the express, written consent of the author.
At one time or another, most established breeders have wished that a handbook providing rules and regulations on how to enter the dog game had been provided to aspiring breeders.
Don’t, they would say, be too cocky. Don’t question the status quo too soon. Don’t assume to comment if you’ve never produced a litter. Don’t have an inflated view of your own opinion if you’ve only had one litter. Don’t chew with your mouth open. Don’t put your elbows on the table. And so on, ad infinitum.
Having looked at the nature of successful relationships between mentors and aspiring breeders as well as the characteristics of effective gurus, we now turn our attention to the student. The apprentice. The protégé.
While we have thus far put emphasis on the successes and shortcomings of established breeders, it would be unfair to accentuate their role too much. A successful partnership requires two willing and flexible partners – which means our student-breeders have many obligations as well.
Regardless of how many rules or regulations might ever be discussed, insinuated or alluded to though, experience tells most of us that success in the dog world initially depends as much on social skills as on knowledge.
First Impressions
As children we learn to negotiate the situations we find ourselves in and hone our ability to adapt. When we begin school, for example, we quickly learn the pecking order surrounding use of the sandbox or rights over the monkey bars. In University we negotiate the party and bar scene, working out amongst ourselves who is cool and who is not, who is “in” and who is “out.” And when we enter the workforce we begin all over again as we adapt to corporate cultures and office cliques. A short time in the dog world quickly reveals a similarly unique culture – one whose rules are often only apparent to those who perpetuate them.
With that in mind, how you go about locating your first dog can have lasting effects on how you are viewed within the breed and by other breeders. For example, contacting every breeder on the seaboard, while a great way to see what is out there, often leaves a bad taste in breeder’s mouths. And, while it may help you to find a puppy, it can make finding a mentor difficult. Breeders want to know that you are interested enough in the breed to have taken the time to research breeders and lines before making first contact.
By the same token, it is important for new breeders to take things slow. Don’t jump headlong into breeding simply because you can. It is true that successful breeding programs are built on great foundation stock, but it is the knowledge gained through experience and observation as well as the advice of your mentor(s) that will cement that foundation.
You must allow yourself time to learn the ins and outs of your breed. Make sure, for example, that you are able to recognize different styles in your breed and can intelligently discuss the merits and drawbacks of each. There are many tools to help you do this and it is incumbent upon you, not your mentor, to seek them out. Read back issues of breed magazines and newsletters, look for new and old books or articles on your breed, borrow old videos of national specialties, correspond with long-time breeders (even if you don’t agree with them, their opinions will add to your knowledge). Ask your mentor for photos of some of the dogs in your pedigrees. Study even though there is no “test!”
Breeders Don’t Have BOGO Sales
There is no question that breeding dogs is an expensive hobby – and breeding dogs right is even more costly. All of the reasons you first chose your mentor breeder (achievements, attention to health and temperament, diversified breeding program, experience, etc., etc.) equate, in the end, to the high costs of show dogs and breeding stock.
With that in mind, many breeders are surprised by the feelings of entitlement they encounter in new breeders. While most new fanciers have no problem paying for their first or even second dog, many soon come to expect preferential treatment. Regardless of whether it finds its roots in ‘favours’ done for the breeder or merely a conviction that they are the perfect home, students often look to their mentors to provide them with an unending stream of good quality, free dogs.
The logic associated with this is flawed for many reasons, not the least of which is a failure to recognize that the very reason you chose your breeder as a mentor is the same reason their dogs and puppies are likely in high demand. Show quality puppies, contrary to popular belief, do not grow on trees even for the most successful breeders. Your breeder is likely inundated with requests for puppies from established fanciers and new breeders just like you. Add to that the demands of continuing a successful breeding program and you have a classic supply and demand curve – skewed heavily toward scarcity.
How to deal with this? Be patient and have realistic expectations. While your mentor will not likely provide you with an entire breeding program free for the taking, you will probably have the opportunity to buy one or two promising dogs. Use these dogs wisely and you will have acquired what you are looking for. Regardless, be conscious of the fact that establishing a breeding program, like any other venture, often requires a significant investment. If your breeder is willing or able to give you a break in that department be grateful because even if the price tag is smaller the value is not.
One is the Loneliest Number
The next lesson for new breeders also takes its cue from the business world – diversify. Loyalty, while a necessary and admirable trait in the dog world, does not require exclusivity. Just as it is impossible to maintain a successful breeding program without ‘going out’ of ones own lines, it would be self-defeating for a new breeder to rely solely on their mentor’s program.
With that in mind, once a strong relationship has been established between the mentor and student, the issue of expanding into other lines should be approached sensibly. Discussion of complimentary possibilities should take place with an understanding that mentors can often have proprietary feelings of their own.
Such an expansion, rather than harming the relationship, should strengthen it. With new stock in hand the new breeder is now in a position to work autonomously – putting the lessons they have learned to use in their own breeding program. Assuming that the new dogs chosen are complimentary, our new breeder now has something to offer the relationship in the form of, for lack of a better word, capital. For many new breeders, such an expansion marks the beginning of a transition in their typical mentor-student relationship and an equalization in the balance of power.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Finding out what it means to your breeder is one of the most important discoveries you will make.
One last example may help us here:
“Marjorie”, a young breeder with one or two dogs acquired through her mentor “Bill”, is ready for another puppy and has approached “Bill” about a young bitch. Bill had intended to keep the puppy for himself but, after numerous conversations with Marjorie, has decided to let her go on a co-ownership. The two discuss the bitch’s strengths and weaknesses and Bill offers a truthful critique of how he feels the bitch will likely develop as well as recommendations on how she could eventually be bred effectively. When the puppy turns 12-weeks-old Bill sends her to Marjorie who is thrilled with the promise she represents.
Over the coming weeks, however, Marjorie grows skeptical about the puppy’s progress. As the days pass she seems to become more gangly and ugly. All of her friends tell her the puppy is a dud. Though she initially mentions her concerns to Bill, she seems satisfied with his reassurances and doesn’t mention her general dissatisfaction again. Within a few weeks though, with the puppy just turned 4 ½ months, Bill receives a call from Marjorie telling him she is returning the puppy – it is simply not a quality dog.
Bill is stunned. Not only is Marjorie returning the puppy at the worst possible age for evaluation – she didn’t even discuss the situation with him before making the decision! Certainly his pride is hurt but worse, after having invested significant time in mentoring Marjorie, Bill feels his work has been for nothing. How could she label him her mentor and not consult him on such a basic issue? After taking the puppy back, he ends the relationship.
What Went Wrong?
Our discussion to this point has alluded to but casually sidestepped an important issue that often pits new breeders against old – respect. New breeders want it, old breeders expect it and in the struggle that ensues sometimes neither get it. Respect is a multi-faceted emotion and has several applications in the dog world. While tomes could be written about why each group deserves it innately, the truth is they don’t. In the end respect is earned not demanded, despite our protestations to the contrary.
That said, once you have chosen a mentor it is imperative that rather than simply paying lip-service to their accomplishments you take the time to understand what sets them apart. Good judgment, sound breeding strategies, experience with their lines and a good eye for a dog all amount to wonderful opportunities for a new breeder – but if he/she doesn’t choose to take advantage of these attributes who suffers in the end?
As we discussed previously, a lack of trust can have harsh repercussions in the relationship between a mentor and student. But just as the mentor must trust those they try to help, new breeders must sometimes trust their teacher.
In this case, Marjorie’s actions speak much louder than her words. While she was apparently willing to take advantage of the surface knowledge Bill offered, when it came down to trusting his judgment and experience she wasn’t willing to make the leap. She did not take advantage of the opportunity to access her mentor’s knowledge about the breed, its typical development patterns or his experience in similar situations. Worse, her failure to discuss her feelings with her mentor when making an important decision like this flew in the face of the very relationship she professed to value.
This is not to say that Marjorie is not entitled to disagree with Bill – trust and respect doesn’t for an instant mean blindly following – only that effective mentorships require meaningful discussions of real issues as they happen. Such discussions can lead to valuable learning opportunities for both parties. Because she wasn’t willing to respect the opinion of her mentor enough to even discuss the issue with him, Marjorie lost out on an opportunity to learn, lost out on a potentially great bitch and, most importantly, lost her mentor.
It’s Hopeless!
Having read this series you are probably asking yourself one question – why bother?! Mentorships, from the sounds of it, aren’t worth it in the end. Not true.
While we have spent a great deal of ink discussing things that can go wrong in such relationships, at their heart mentorships are one of the most rewarding relationships any two breeders can have. The opportunities for learning are infinite for both parties and their effect on the breeds in question is incalculable.
The truth is, the key to a successful mentorship is no different than the key to any other relationship. Respecting the opinions of others, knowing when to let go, trusting one another – these are all values we were supposed to have learned in kindergarten. Basic business sense, the ability to design and evaluate fair and honest agreements and a willingness to see the larger picture are all skills breeders, whether new or old, should possess. With all of these tools and an eye to balance, mentorships can offer both experienced and new breeders alike incredible advantages – not to mention benefiting their specific breed.
____________________________
Amanda Kelly is an award-winning dog writer from Halifax, Nova Scotia. Along with her mother, Wendy, Amanda breeds top-winning Toy Manchester Terriers under the Fwaggle prefix. She is currently Editor of Canine Review, Canada's oldest independent dog magazine.
____________________________
Tips For Being A Good Student
Originally published in Dogs In Review magazine (U.S.A.) in 2005. All rights reserved. This text may not be reproduced without the express, written consent of the author.
At one time or another, most established breeders have wished that a handbook providing rules and regulations on how to enter the dog game had been provided to aspiring breeders.
Don’t, they would say, be too cocky. Don’t question the status quo too soon. Don’t assume to comment if you’ve never produced a litter. Don’t have an inflated view of your own opinion if you’ve only had one litter. Don’t chew with your mouth open. Don’t put your elbows on the table. And so on, ad infinitum.
Having looked at the nature of successful relationships between mentors and aspiring breeders as well as the characteristics of effective gurus, we now turn our attention to the student. The apprentice. The protégé.
While we have thus far put emphasis on the successes and shortcomings of established breeders, it would be unfair to accentuate their role too much. A successful partnership requires two willing and flexible partners – which means our student-breeders have many obligations as well.
Regardless of how many rules or regulations might ever be discussed, insinuated or alluded to though, experience tells most of us that success in the dog world initially depends as much on social skills as on knowledge.
First Impressions
As children we learn to negotiate the situations we find ourselves in and hone our ability to adapt. When we begin school, for example, we quickly learn the pecking order surrounding use of the sandbox or rights over the monkey bars. In University we negotiate the party and bar scene, working out amongst ourselves who is cool and who is not, who is “in” and who is “out.” And when we enter the workforce we begin all over again as we adapt to corporate cultures and office cliques. A short time in the dog world quickly reveals a similarly unique culture – one whose rules are often only apparent to those who perpetuate them.
With that in mind, how you go about locating your first dog can have lasting effects on how you are viewed within the breed and by other breeders. For example, contacting every breeder on the seaboard, while a great way to see what is out there, often leaves a bad taste in breeder’s mouths. And, while it may help you to find a puppy, it can make finding a mentor difficult. Breeders want to know that you are interested enough in the breed to have taken the time to research breeders and lines before making first contact.
By the same token, it is important for new breeders to take things slow. Don’t jump headlong into breeding simply because you can. It is true that successful breeding programs are built on great foundation stock, but it is the knowledge gained through experience and observation as well as the advice of your mentor(s) that will cement that foundation.
You must allow yourself time to learn the ins and outs of your breed. Make sure, for example, that you are able to recognize different styles in your breed and can intelligently discuss the merits and drawbacks of each. There are many tools to help you do this and it is incumbent upon you, not your mentor, to seek them out. Read back issues of breed magazines and newsletters, look for new and old books or articles on your breed, borrow old videos of national specialties, correspond with long-time breeders (even if you don’t agree with them, their opinions will add to your knowledge). Ask your mentor for photos of some of the dogs in your pedigrees. Study even though there is no “test!”
Breeders Don’t Have BOGO Sales
There is no question that breeding dogs is an expensive hobby – and breeding dogs right is even more costly. All of the reasons you first chose your mentor breeder (achievements, attention to health and temperament, diversified breeding program, experience, etc., etc.) equate, in the end, to the high costs of show dogs and breeding stock.
With that in mind, many breeders are surprised by the feelings of entitlement they encounter in new breeders. While most new fanciers have no problem paying for their first or even second dog, many soon come to expect preferential treatment. Regardless of whether it finds its roots in ‘favours’ done for the breeder or merely a conviction that they are the perfect home, students often look to their mentors to provide them with an unending stream of good quality, free dogs.
The logic associated with this is flawed for many reasons, not the least of which is a failure to recognize that the very reason you chose your breeder as a mentor is the same reason their dogs and puppies are likely in high demand. Show quality puppies, contrary to popular belief, do not grow on trees even for the most successful breeders. Your breeder is likely inundated with requests for puppies from established fanciers and new breeders just like you. Add to that the demands of continuing a successful breeding program and you have a classic supply and demand curve – skewed heavily toward scarcity.
How to deal with this? Be patient and have realistic expectations. While your mentor will not likely provide you with an entire breeding program free for the taking, you will probably have the opportunity to buy one or two promising dogs. Use these dogs wisely and you will have acquired what you are looking for. Regardless, be conscious of the fact that establishing a breeding program, like any other venture, often requires a significant investment. If your breeder is willing or able to give you a break in that department be grateful because even if the price tag is smaller the value is not.
One is the Loneliest Number
The next lesson for new breeders also takes its cue from the business world – diversify. Loyalty, while a necessary and admirable trait in the dog world, does not require exclusivity. Just as it is impossible to maintain a successful breeding program without ‘going out’ of ones own lines, it would be self-defeating for a new breeder to rely solely on their mentor’s program.
With that in mind, once a strong relationship has been established between the mentor and student, the issue of expanding into other lines should be approached sensibly. Discussion of complimentary possibilities should take place with an understanding that mentors can often have proprietary feelings of their own.
Such an expansion, rather than harming the relationship, should strengthen it. With new stock in hand the new breeder is now in a position to work autonomously – putting the lessons they have learned to use in their own breeding program. Assuming that the new dogs chosen are complimentary, our new breeder now has something to offer the relationship in the form of, for lack of a better word, capital. For many new breeders, such an expansion marks the beginning of a transition in their typical mentor-student relationship and an equalization in the balance of power.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Finding out what it means to your breeder is one of the most important discoveries you will make.
One last example may help us here:
“Marjorie”, a young breeder with one or two dogs acquired through her mentor “Bill”, is ready for another puppy and has approached “Bill” about a young bitch. Bill had intended to keep the puppy for himself but, after numerous conversations with Marjorie, has decided to let her go on a co-ownership. The two discuss the bitch’s strengths and weaknesses and Bill offers a truthful critique of how he feels the bitch will likely develop as well as recommendations on how she could eventually be bred effectively. When the puppy turns 12-weeks-old Bill sends her to Marjorie who is thrilled with the promise she represents.
Over the coming weeks, however, Marjorie grows skeptical about the puppy’s progress. As the days pass she seems to become more gangly and ugly. All of her friends tell her the puppy is a dud. Though she initially mentions her concerns to Bill, she seems satisfied with his reassurances and doesn’t mention her general dissatisfaction again. Within a few weeks though, with the puppy just turned 4 ½ months, Bill receives a call from Marjorie telling him she is returning the puppy – it is simply not a quality dog.
Bill is stunned. Not only is Marjorie returning the puppy at the worst possible age for evaluation – she didn’t even discuss the situation with him before making the decision! Certainly his pride is hurt but worse, after having invested significant time in mentoring Marjorie, Bill feels his work has been for nothing. How could she label him her mentor and not consult him on such a basic issue? After taking the puppy back, he ends the relationship.
What Went Wrong?
Our discussion to this point has alluded to but casually sidestepped an important issue that often pits new breeders against old – respect. New breeders want it, old breeders expect it and in the struggle that ensues sometimes neither get it. Respect is a multi-faceted emotion and has several applications in the dog world. While tomes could be written about why each group deserves it innately, the truth is they don’t. In the end respect is earned not demanded, despite our protestations to the contrary.
That said, once you have chosen a mentor it is imperative that rather than simply paying lip-service to their accomplishments you take the time to understand what sets them apart. Good judgment, sound breeding strategies, experience with their lines and a good eye for a dog all amount to wonderful opportunities for a new breeder – but if he/she doesn’t choose to take advantage of these attributes who suffers in the end?
As we discussed previously, a lack of trust can have harsh repercussions in the relationship between a mentor and student. But just as the mentor must trust those they try to help, new breeders must sometimes trust their teacher.
In this case, Marjorie’s actions speak much louder than her words. While she was apparently willing to take advantage of the surface knowledge Bill offered, when it came down to trusting his judgment and experience she wasn’t willing to make the leap. She did not take advantage of the opportunity to access her mentor’s knowledge about the breed, its typical development patterns or his experience in similar situations. Worse, her failure to discuss her feelings with her mentor when making an important decision like this flew in the face of the very relationship she professed to value.
This is not to say that Marjorie is not entitled to disagree with Bill – trust and respect doesn’t for an instant mean blindly following – only that effective mentorships require meaningful discussions of real issues as they happen. Such discussions can lead to valuable learning opportunities for both parties. Because she wasn’t willing to respect the opinion of her mentor enough to even discuss the issue with him, Marjorie lost out on an opportunity to learn, lost out on a potentially great bitch and, most importantly, lost her mentor.
It’s Hopeless!
Having read this series you are probably asking yourself one question – why bother?! Mentorships, from the sounds of it, aren’t worth it in the end. Not true.
While we have spent a great deal of ink discussing things that can go wrong in such relationships, at their heart mentorships are one of the most rewarding relationships any two breeders can have. The opportunities for learning are infinite for both parties and their effect on the breeds in question is incalculable.
The truth is, the key to a successful mentorship is no different than the key to any other relationship. Respecting the opinions of others, knowing when to let go, trusting one another – these are all values we were supposed to have learned in kindergarten. Basic business sense, the ability to design and evaluate fair and honest agreements and a willingness to see the larger picture are all skills breeders, whether new or old, should possess. With all of these tools and an eye to balance, mentorships can offer both experienced and new breeders alike incredible advantages – not to mention benefiting their specific breed.
____________________________
Amanda Kelly is an award-winning dog writer from Halifax, Nova Scotia. Along with her mother, Wendy, Amanda breeds top-winning Toy Manchester Terriers under the Fwaggle prefix. She is currently Editor of Canine Review, Canada's oldest independent dog magazine.
____________________________
Tips For Being A Good Student
- Respect your own opinion. Even though you’re new, you’re not stupid. If you’ve read the breed standard you are entitled to an opinion.
- Go to breed specialties and establish a network of contacts. Your mentor should not be your only source of information, but be sure to keep him/her ‘in the loop’
- Diversify – with your mentor’s help look at complimentary lines to strengthen your own program.
- Be an individual. You do not have to always agree with your mentor but you do have to be able to discuss your reasons intelligently.
- Trust your mentor. This doesn’t mean don’t question, it simply means respecting the skills that got them where they are.